


whispers of nothingness

by jaylove



Series: coming home at last [5]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Gen, M/M, but i will only guarantee a little comfort, more relationship and character tags will likely be added over time, the ambiguity is more from my own indecisiveness than it is anything else, there will be hurt, this is about as canon non-compliant as i can get while still using canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 03:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17072399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaylove/pseuds/jaylove
Summary: picking up where dust to dust to dust left off, time continues to march on, as everyone tries to find their footing in a world that is both the same and differentbut the war is reaching its crest, and that will soon bring untold evils to the forefront once more





	whispers of nothingness

She's unbalanced as she races through the halls. Finders, personnel, they all leap out of her way and watch after her curiously. At least one person curses as their stack of papers goes flying. The girl doesn't bother to pay heed to anyone, all her attention focused on her destination and the pounding pulse in her ears. Each footfall hits the stone floor enough to nearly hurt. There's a second, wherein she considers activating her Innocence to push faster, but her mind is too scrambled to follow through with the idea.  
  
The poor assistant that opens the door for her has to scramble to keep from being run over. Her breath is coming heavy as she finally slides to a stop, purple eyes scanning across the room frantically. A few people startle as they notice her. Sitting at his desk, her brother's gaze only briefly flicks her way, and he wordlessly signals for her to wait.  
  
" - and the next thing either of us knew, we were on their Ark, with me tied to a chair, surrounded by a bunch of their ugly mugs." She almost doesn't recognize the voice as she approaches their tense grouping. It's gruffer, deeper, than she remembered it being. But it's the bitterness that strikes so unfamiliar. On the sofa across from Komui, Lavi motions restlessly between sentences, seemingly unaware at the new guest. Bak holds a hand out to her in offering once she's beside him, and she gratefully takes it. Her head is still spinning, struggling to ground herself, a whirl of emotions and fears she can barely hold inside.   
  
"How many times do I have to explain this, again?" Lavi questions, the last words hanging in the air like bites. She can see him now, when she leans forward, dirty and messy and nearly vibrating in place with - with -  
  
_With anger,_  her mind offers to finish, inspiring images of ships and broken windows and forest floors covered in blood.  
  
Lenalee shudders as she shifts a little closer to Bak.   
  
Her brother rights a few stray papers, allowing someone else to clear their throat and step forward to answer. It's the first time she's seen Link - or Lvellie, who lounges in an armchair, looking for all the world absolutely  _smug_ \- in weeks. "However many times it takes," Link's tone is as commanding as it is bland. The sound of duty and detachment, like in those early days. Their eyes meet in brief accident. She swallows back her bile and rage, letting it mix with the tornado in the pit of her stomach. The only solace is in the way he stiffens, hands clenching around the notes in his hands, quickly looking away from her again.  
  
( _Let the little rat squirm_ , she thinks, only realizing she's about to break Bak's hand when the man softly clears his throat.)  
  
Lavi's face contorts in an uncharacteristically foul glare. She half expects a confrontation, but the electricity in the air is just ignored. "They wanted information on the Fourteenth. Apparently, the old geezer was employed with the Noah back then, or something." Whether or not they've all heard this before, there isn't a single surprised face in the entire room. "It sounded like they were looking for a way to destroy him."  
  
Her heart stops for a second or two, lungs pulling too tight inside her chest. But there's limited reaction from the others, most of them still keeping their eyes trained on the redhead, expressions carefully neutral. She wishes she knew how to be so outwardly calm. The only thing really, truly, keeping her contained in that moment is a tingling around her ankles. It had taken time for her to get used to the support of her Innocence. The Dark Boots had always been cold and unresponsive before; now, they seem a warm, sentient thing.  _Guiding_ her as much as  _helping_ her.  
  
The blond inspector's head dips, scanning unnecessarily through what must be written reports. His brows are pulled as he coolly focuses on Lavi once more. "The last statement contradicts your earlier comments. You claim to have witnessed Wal- " the room's tension becomes impossibly more palpable in the breath it takes Link to correct himself, " _the Fourteenth,_  I mean, among them. As if he had joined with the Noah Clan." Long fingers curl over the top edge of the clipboard. He and Lavi never did learn to get along, and it shows now more than ever, hostility in their shared gaze. Lenalee can't help but shift a step in front of Bak, reaction subconscious and anxious.   
  
Lavi's lip curls back in an animalistic display of teeth. (The recipient doesn't even flinch.) "Man, what is this, some kind of interrogation?" She can see his hands balling into fists and her pulse responds in kind. Komui and Reever exchange a quick, expressionless glance. But Lavi isn't finished, which the others seem to have expected, as she still struggles to wrap her mind around his anger. He leans forward on the couch now, face balancing between a sneer and snarl. "Do I look like I fucking understand the  _Noah Clan_  to you - "  
  
"You shouldn't have returned if you were unprepared to handle the questions," Link cuts in without hesitation, voice roughly as warm as Arctic waters might be. The retort suddenly seems a very weighted accusation. Looking between the two, she finally recognizes this underlying current of violence, and realizes it comes from the same place it always has.  
  
_You shouldn't have left Allen_ , is what Link had really said.  
  
_You shouldn't have betrayed Allen,_ is Lavi's obvious answer.  
  
Her brother chooses an excellent moment to draw attention with a cough. It's only when the inspector shifts back a step that any of them realize the man had been approaching, and even Lvellie sends Link a disapproving frown.   
  
(Lenalee has the offhand thought that Allen would be so  _pleased_  and is so overcome with nausea, she has to turn away a moment.)  
  
"I'm inclined to agree with the inspector here," Komui's voice is stern, staring Lavi down, clearly displeased with the route things had taken. "Something must have changed - and you are the only person in a position to provide insight into the matter. So please," heavy sigh, " _cooperate._ "  
  
She's struck by the thinly veiled warning in the plea. Glancing around, Lenalee eyes the different people in the room, throat closing up as she realizes most of them are under Central's employ.   
  
They're fully prepared to lock Lavi up as soon as he gives them a reason.  
  
Lavi falls back against the couch again, one hand tugging irritably through his tangled hair. It looks strange without the bandanna. "They didn't exactly sit me down for the full recap. It wasn't even till I got here that I realized it had been over  _three damn months._ But," for the first time, Lavi actually hesitates, lips curling around silent words as he struggles to find the right ones. Everyone is mute as death for the few minutes it takes. "I did ... talk to him. They kept half abandoning us, like they were focused elsewhere for a long while, especially toward the end. Then we get dragged to a different room, before the Earl - " Lenalee, along with several others, sucks in a breath of horror, " -, who told us he no longer had need of the information. After the Fourteenth entered, we were told he was rejoining the family." The hand scrubs down his face, and she realizes with a white-hot shock that the eyepatch is gone. She'd always figured it covered up something strange, before, but it's just as normal as the other.  
  
There's an uncertain moment as they all try to digest this. Lenalee herself can barely focus through the shrieking in her mind. It was - too difficult to believe Allen could actually be  _gone_. "And Bookman?" Reever voices the question they've all undoubtedly been wondering, lips twisting around the two words in a way that would normally signal distaste.  
  
"He decided it was more  _vital_  to stay and record their side, again," Lavi spits out the words. The answer is certainly not what any of them had been expecting, if the startled looks they all exchange can speak for anything. He continues once they've all pushed past the surprise. "I refused to work with those pieces of shit. He," the man's voice trembles over the word, then forges forward with even more fury than before, "he told me I'd proven myself a waste of time, that I'd never be able to put my emotions aside enough to get the job done. So, unless he has a spare apprentice hidden in a closet somewhere, the Bookman line is probably over." He finalizes the sentiment with a swift cutting motion. Komui, Reever, Link, and Bak all flinch.  
  
She can't take it anymore - the hurricane pounding against her bones, the suffocating atmosphere in the room, the aggression threatening to boil over in the time it takes a pin to drop. Lenalee takes a step forward, then practically runs the five more till he's within reach. Her frame is shaking too much to register how Lavi jumps at the realization she'd joined them. "Can't," there's no use attempting to hide the watery nature of her voice, "can't this please be over? Haven't you gotten enough for now?" It's impossible to say who reaches for who; she just knows Lavi's softened again by the time they're holding hands, his thumb running over her tanned skin. Her head swings around to meet eyes with anyone willing to look at her, which many of them aren't.   
  
Bak has neared Komui's desk now, and the direction of the man's suggestion is split between her brother and Lvellie. "No one's checked over Lavi since we confirmed it was him - shouldn't Miss Lee take him to the nurses?" His eyes settle on Komui's. She suspects Bak's presence at the European Branch has very little to do with hearing Lavi's story firsthand.   
  
"We still haven't found out why they let  _Junior_ go at all," Lvellie counters. The reference is a doubtless taunt, and Lavi tenses beside her.  
  
But Komui has had enough, voice low and eyes hard as he fixes a look to make men quiver on the special inspector. "Of course, and I assure you, this inquiry is far from over. But I also agree with my counterpart. It's useless questioning Lavi further until we've confirmed he's  _well enough_ to stand trial." He turns to the two exorcists next; Lenalee can't miss the simmering anger when Komui looks at the younger man. She also can't help flinching uncomfortably at it. "Lenalee, if you would, please escort him to the Medical Ward." Though he relaxes a little as they meet eyes, Komui is still stony as he finishes, "and  _do not_ let Lavi out of your sight."   
  
She nods. Their hands are still tightly clasped as they duck from the room, the hum of murmuring voices rising just as the door closes. They don't stop walking for a few halls, till Lavi at least comes to a complete halt, and Lenalee's eyes lift to him expectantly. The uneasy silence persists.  
  
"Is he really gone?" She still can't stop the quiver in her voice, or the one spreading to her lips now.  
  
"I don't know," Lavi admits, so quiet she almost strains to hear him, his eyes never wavering from their forward stare. "He  _talked_ like he was Allen, swore he was - but I just," the man's teeth grind together, opposite of the gentle curl of his fingers around hers, "I can't even imagine  _Allen_  ever willingly joining up with those bastards."  
  
Lenalee chews on that for a moment. It doesn't take long to decide she's better off  _not_ knowing if Lavi's purposefully leading them astray, or why he'd do that in the first place. It's harder to decide on her response, to flip back through all her memories, to think on the things possibly only she knows. Her mind keeps conjuring the image of Link, or the reverent way her friend used to clutch that  _stupid_ chess piece. They're difficult to push away. Allen's silent attachment to Tyki and Road had always rested heavily at the edge of her thoughts. These hopeless few weeks, when she thought she'd lost three of the most important people in her life, it had been something she kept coming back to.  
  
"I can," she says, surprising herself with her own certainty. Lavi's head snaps in her direction, but she focuses instead on a place just beside his head, a technique she'd learned from Allen. "The door has basically been open since before anyone even knew about Neah. And, lately, every door here has been slamming in his face.  _Constantly."_ Her breath comes out in a shaking exhale. The dark circles beneath her eyes are more prominent as she finally meets Lavi's gaze, pain written plainly on her face. "God, why  _wouldn't_  he turn to them? Allen was already hanging here by a thin thread. North America must've just been his last straw." She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes, a single salt-filled drop making its way to the floor.  
  
She'd sworn she wouldn't cry anymore over this. If Allen were gone, be that in one sense or another, he'd want her to be strong.  
  
Lavi drapes an arm over her shoulders, gently tugging her with him down the hallway. "C'mon, Lena-lady," his voice is too hoarse to be convincingly cheerful, "these rope burns aren't gonna treat themselves." And they both laugh a little at that - because they need to, because Lenalee knows they'll both lose their minds if they don't.   
  
One arm curls around Lavi's back as they keep walking.


End file.
